The Art of Racing in the Rain
Here
Wait
Graduation is in two weeks: at last! No more papers, no more readings, no more tests, no more -- wait. No more...friends. No more co-workers, no more roommates, no more of those who have shaped and molded my life and my mind and my very being for the past one two three four years -- no more. Wait. No more. No, I'm not ready for no more. Wait.
Dreaming
Conceal to Reveal
Everyone has a preconceived notion of what others are supposed to look like. Critiques of the above are many, but those are for another time, another day. Today, I am making a case for the positive aspect of using makeup and giving into these preconceived notions.
I have been wearing make up for years. And the reason behind it is perfectly summarized with Dermablend's Camo Confessions campaign. You can view the most recent videos here.
I do not put on make-up every day to fake who I am, to "trick" anyone, or put on a false persona. On the contrary, I do it so that people can instead see who I really am -- the sarcastic, witty, emotional, loyal, indecisive person that I am. Because if I didn't, they would instead focus on my physical appearance. The preconceived notion that I am ascribing to is looking normal.
Perfect skin is not something that I have been blessed with. I'm not talking about acne or pimples; I have instead been beautified with a continuous, crimson complexion. And I do not want that to be the first thing that people see and judge me by. I want people to look past my skin and instead judge me by the content of my character, however charming or repellent it may be. And that is why I conceal to reveal. I wear my makeup, and I wear it proudly, because it helps me be who I want to be -- my face is a canvas, one where I can show the rest of the world how I see myself, how I hope that it can see me. And for that, I will not be ashamed.
Debrief
Pi Sigma Alpha held our annual forum this evening and although some rather...eccentric Tea Party characters came out, it was definitely an interesting event. The night finished off with going out for drinks with a few of our members, and it was just an overall great time. I felt so carefree.
There really is no point to this post, but to give a debrief of my day (even if it may not make very much sense). I just wanted to put it into writing, for myself, that I am happy.
Seattle Dreaming
Well the weeks, months, and years passed, and I forgot about that dream. Or rather, thought it would be too impossible, too impractical to actually come to fruition. And I began, instead, to plan on staying in Los Angeles, even though it makes me miserable.
But then, Seattle creeped back into my mind. It somehow came up during discussion with my roommates and one thing led to another, and before you know it, the three of us had Seattle on our minds. We're looking at housing, applying for jobs, and are going to visit in mid-April.
I am filled with anxiety but also anticipation. I left my heart in Seattle and want to go find it again.
Today
She said it should help with my anxiety.
Young and Beautiful
Done it all
Had my cake now
Diamonds, brilliant
And Bel Air now
Hot summer nights, mid July
When you and I were forever wild
The crazy days, city lights
The way you'd play with me like a child
Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me
When I got nothing but my aching soul?
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
- Lana Del Rey, "Young and Beautiful"
Laughing with Life
I'm Not Sorry
Breathing Freely
A few days ago, as I was getting dressed for class, putting on my makeup and singing along to the radio, I realized that I was filled with a sense of peace and contentment. All was well. It had been a rather long time since I'd last felt like that, it really took me by surprise. I just smiled and kept singing.
The few days since then have been rather unnerving and stressful. But today, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I can finally breathe and move on. Life's too short for sleepless nights and wasted thoughts so I'm moving on. And I'm breathing freely.



