In Time

I've been selfish, I've been shrewd. I've been cold and short tempered. I've been dreaming of leaving everything behind, of running from it all - the good, the bad, the joy, the pain - all because it would make things easier for me. It would keep me from getting hurt, it would make life more manageable for me, it would give me more time to breathe and not be caught up in all of life's problems. Me, me, me, me.

I'm sorry.

I've been so caught up in this delusion of solitude, caught up in the aims of making my own life simpler, I failed to see just how selfish my mindset had become. Life's not about taking the easy way out; it's not about doing what makes it easiest for you. At least, that's not what I want my life to be about. I want to be able to help others find peace and happiness. I want the people that I love so dearly to feel that love, and to feel joy. I want to be willing to sacrifice my time, my efforts, my sanity, whatever it takes -- just in hopes that they will find what they are searching for.

I'm far from being the person I want to be. But I'm hoping that in time, I'll get there. It won't be easy. It will inevitably bring pain. But it will be worth it.