Homesick for a Place that Doesn't Exist

I've been feeling a bit nostalgic lately, but not for anything familiar. I've been feeling homesick, but not for my home. I was in Roseville just a little over a month ago, but it feels like it's been ages. And with me not going back for Spring Break and all, I'm feeling somewhat stuck here. I feel like I want to leave, but I don't know where I want to go. There are some in and near Roseville whom I wish to see, but only a select few. It's not that I have anything against the rest of them, I just feel like I don't need to see them. Not quite yet.

I feel like I want to go back to something familiar, but not too familiar. I feel like I want to see some familiar faces, but not too familiar. I guess what I want is to be somewhere that I vaguely know and know that acquaintances are nearby, but not have to see them.

Or I want to go somewhere completely new. Somewhere I have never been, a place where nobody knows me. I admit that does sound a bit lonely, but more-so exciting. I do not have a problem with solitude, and enjoy entertaining the idea of simply going away for a while and relishing in it. Going somewhere I can be on my own, where I can spend my days sleeping and my nights lounging in cafes, watching films, going to art exhibits, reading all those books I haven't had the chance to get around to. But of course this is only a dream. Because something like that takes money, and lots of it. Something I happen to be lacking.

I feel like I am searching for something, wanting to return to something, to somewhere, but I don't know what or where. Because what I am is homesick for a place that doesn't exist. And that's hard to wrestle with.

So back to dreaming I go.